Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Mount Taylor 50k Pre Race

I am arrogant.

Sometimes I am over confident. That is not always a bad thing but it can be. As I approach the Mount Taylor 50k I am confident I can finish. Maybe over-confident. I will not run it fast, in fact I will not run it all. There will be a lot of walking involved because I am not trained for a fast 50k. But I am trained and I am pretty sure I can finish.

I am insecure.

There are times when I have run a long run during this training cycle and have been so tired and have thought to myself "you are never going to be able to run 50k at altitude in the mountains. You are not a good enough runner. You are getting old and slow. How stupid can you be?”

These two scenarios play themselves out in my life over and over. As a Christian. As a husband. As a dad. As an employee.

I’ve got this. Everyone around should be so lucky to even be in my presence. I don’t need anybody but me.

I wonder if I am smart enough. Man enough. Strong enough. Wise enough …I don’t think I can ever do this on my own.

I need balance. The balance that comes from seeing myself as I really am and not as either a super hero or a nobody.

Mount Taylor 50k is on Saturday. I hope to have fun running in the mountains of New Mexico. And if I finish then great but there is a chance I don’t and that’s okay too. It really is …

 Because of the grace allotted to me, I can respectfully tell you not to think of yourselves as being more important than you are; devote your minds to sound judgment since God has assigned to each of us a measure of faith. Romans 13:3