Desire

I work hard. I am good at my job, really good, and yet I am not paid the salary that matches my skill. If I had just a little more money I would be able to have the house that would be the envy of my guests. My car would not just be reliable, it would shout who I am to all of those who see me drive it. If I was paid what I am worth my wife and I could go out every once in a while for the dates we both desire. Is it too much to ask to live a life of comfort instead of worrying about finances? That would be the life.
Oh, to live the minimalistic life. A life of simplicity in a small house in the woods by a stream. I would eat the food I harvest from my own garden and enjoy eggs for breakfast from the chickens that live free range in my yard. I would only use the electricity produced from the solar farm in my open field. Living on just the basics I would require very little from the world around me. All the while enjoying the simple things like sitting in a porch swing and watching the sun go down. Money would not be important to me because I would not need much. That would be the life.

My world would be a better place if I could just have a few close friends who know absolutely everything about me and I know all there is to know about them. Despite the knowing we would still be close friends. I want to have friends who mutually share joy, hardships, food, drink and intellectual conversation.
The best place to live is in a world of my own making. To be alone. How can I know myself and know the true nature of God if I don't spend time exploring the depths of my mind, emotions and soul. To examine self in relation to everything around me in silence and solitude. To live a life of joy in my own company. To know what there is to know and do what there is to do ... all by myself.

I long for a romantic long term committed relationship with one person who will be at my bedside or I will be at theirs when one of us dies. I want to be with the person God assigned just for me from the foundation of creation. The one I can stick with through the joy and pain. No matter what comes we will be together forever.
I don't think they understand me. Maybe we committed ourselves to a lifelong relationship in haste without understanding. There is so much hurt and so many things we may never be able to get beyond in our relationship. Maybe we would both be better off if we would end it here and go out on our own. It's okay to blame it on me if it means we can both be free. "I know its hard to say 'throw it all away' but the odds are we'll be better off." -Mutemath

I ache to travel the world. To see the sights. To smell the smells and taste the food  and listen to the languages of other cultures. I have to walk the mountains, feel the sticky salt air of the oceans, taste the wine, coffee and whisky, and sleep under the moon and stars of the places unfamiliar to me.
What I really need is to be home in front of a fire in the cool of autumn. To work a garden and build a fence and improve by my own hand the land that is mine. To mold it to my will where it is my place. The place in the world I call my own and will live and never leave until the day I die.

"The fever's getting higher ... desire." U2

" Daddy, I want a squirrel." - Veruca Salt, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

"We are limited in every way but one: we have unlimited desire." - Kent Dunnington

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content."  - Paul the Apostle of Jesus

Denial

"It's an occasional indulgence that does not control me" I say in a dismissive tone.

Setting it aside for a time feels right. It allows me to test myself and be at peace with who I am.

Indulging whenever there is a whim is to be like a child. Rub my beard and remember that I am a man.

Seeing the world differently when the lens of my desire is removed is a refreshing sight.

Eventually savoring it when it is enjoyed in its proper place is a hopeful aspiration.

I Walk Alone and Wonder

I walk alone back to my room across the desert with the wind blowing sand in my eyes. Just Look at this Mess sings in my ears as I blink fast to try and clear the blur on my contacts.

I lie like the color of the rainbow
I cheat like the daisies in the field

As the words roll around in my head I wonder how they apply to me.

I walk alone on the steep incline of the treadmill. I am face the gym mirror, not because I am vain - although I might be - but because all of the treadmills face the mirrors. As I pick up the pace and jog for three minutes I wonder what lies I am telling myself.

I walk alone in a dream and a whisper in my head tells me I am no longer the one for anyone.I feel the separation in a new way. I sit in the vulnerability like I am told I must. Since I have lied I wonder if I was ever the one for anyone at all.

Good on ya old man!

I haven’t been running. I didn’t stop running because I didn’t want to run. I stopped running because I couldn’t run. I ran The Maze on the last Saturday in March. Then I ran very little the month of April and May because I knew I needed the rest.

When I decided to start back I felt fully recovered and nothing hurt so threw myself in to running as if I had never taken any time off. After five days of running and a hard day of work in the yard my left knee told me that enough was enough.  I went for a run on a Monday morning and my knee hurt each time my left foot hit the ground. I thought “no big deal. I will take a couple of days off and be just fine. But that was not the case. The fleshy part in the back of my knee hurt. I tried mixing in running with walking. I added a knee brace when it didn’t get better. And then all I could do was walk. My knee didn’t hurt went I was not running but any impact at all caused me to stop in my tracks.

After a couple of months of struggling and making no progress towards healing my knee Andrea told me, “What advice would you give someone else? You would tell them to take ibuprofen, wear a good brace and take time off.” She is the smart one.

So I took off with no running at all for almost a full month.

On September 3^rd I put my knee brace on and had high hopes that everything would be okay and I would be able to run like the wind. I took my first steps out of the driveway and walked to warm up and then I tried to run. It was not pretty. The pain was different but there was still pain. And I sulked. The further I walked the more disappointed I got. There were other people running that morning and I was just mad at them. Why is it they get to run and not me?

An older man ran by across the street from me and I secretly wanted him to trip. If I can’t run nobody else should be able to either. I started thinking how stupid I was being. At least I can walk. And I should be happy for the old man. So I thought “Good on ya old man!” as the Kiwis would say.

For the rest of the walk I thought about maybe never being able to run again on a regular basis. I knew it would come someday but not when I am only 48 years old. Why would I miss it so much?

While I was off I lifted weights. I would do 20 second repeats of 18 different exercises in rapid succession to try to keep my cardio up. I did push-ups, pull-ups and planks. So what was the difference? Why wasn’t that enough?

Strength training in my garage was about staying in shape, which is good. Running helps me stay in shape. But when it comes down to it the thing that draws me to running is that it is an adventure. It is a journey every day. There are some places we have either visited or lived where the journey is much more fun and the adventure is more grand but even in a subdivision in Pearland there is enough journey and adventure to make me want to come back to run as many mornings as possible. To run on the golf course and look across the man-made lake to where the thin glow on the horizon is a sign that a new day is coming is enough for now.

Since September 3 I have gotten out every other day and my knee feels better. I am still walking and running but I can tell that my knee is healing. I am going to try to be patient and get my adventure back. Then someday a random younger person will tell me “Good on ya old man!”

Mount Taylor 50k

Jakeb got me into this mess. He told me that we had to run a trail race. A 50k. So we looked and looked. We had to find a race that happened in the fall but it had to be before October because a baby is coming. We found a race in New Mexico - The Mount Taylor 50k. It was at the right time. It is a 50k. It is run completely on dirt, in the mountains, all over 9000 feet elevation, over Mount Taylor at 11301 feet with 7000 feet elevation gain overall. So we signed up and started to train.

Very early on in the training Jakeb hurt his foot and could not run the race. But he told me he still wanted to come along. I flew to Lubbock and then together we drove to Grants, New Mexico for the race.

Race morning was awesome. Jakeb and I stood at the starting line and the weather was cool, the sky was clear and there were more stars in the sky than I have seen in a long time.

Pre-race instructions were given through a bull horn. I hugged Jakeb and someone yelled “Go!”

We ran downhill for a really short distance and then headed uphill immediately toward La Mosca Lookout. Running was not an option. It was a power hike all the way up the hill. The idea is that you will top the hill as the sun comes over the horizon as the Navajo tradition is to run to meet the sun. But by the time I got there the sun was well over the horizon so I met it but I was just a little later than the Indians.

After topping the lookout at over 10000 feet the trail went down and then started rolling for the rest of the loop back to the start finish at mile 16. The Continental Divide Trail is part of the course and it is soft single track that was fun to run when I could and walk when it was too steep.

Leaving the start finish aid station I knew I would have to climb up to Mount Taylor but I had no idea how brutal it would be. I ran/walked the trail to the Gooseberry aid station at mile 21. Trader Joe’s was responsible for the aid station set-up and they had turkey, cheese and mustard wrapped in a tortilla. I was grateful for something savory because Gu, fruit and candy was getting old.

Leaving the aid station at mile 21 the course immediately sloped up. A mile and a half later the course breaks out of the trees and goes straight up. I would walk 10 or 20 steps and have to stop and rest. After hiking this way for what seemed like forever the trail turned into a series of switch-backs that provided some relief but not much. I was in a foul mood. Who designs a course that makes you run (and walk) 21 miles and then sends your worn-out self straight up an 11000 foot mountain? Someone who is sadistic – that’s who.

After toping Mount Taylor I was able to run down to the Caldera Rim aid station. There were veggie tortillas with avocado at this aid station and they were awesome. Then the aid station volunteer told me I had to run a four mile loop through Water Canyon before I could run the 2 miles to the finish. This didn’t make me any happier and I mostly walked the loop. It was three miles down, which I probably could have run but didn’t, and one mile up. So needless to say the one mile up was crazy steep and again brutal.

Once I finished the loop I only stopped at the aid station long enough for them to record my number and then mostly ran the last two miles.

I finished in 8:34:22. My only goal was to finish. The time I ran reflects the training I put into this race. Could I run it faster? I am sure I could. Will I try? I don’t know. There are other races to run so I may not come back to this one. If Jakeb decides he wants to try it I may come back because it is worth it to hang out with him. Am I glad I did it? Absolutely!

Mount Taylor 50k Pre Race

I am arrogant.

Sometimes I am over confident. That is not always a bad thing but it can be. As I approach the Mount Taylor 50k I am confident I can finish. Maybe over-confident. I will not run it fast, in fact I will not run it all. There will be a lot of walking involved because I am not trained for a fast 50k. But I am trained and I am pretty sure I can finish.

I am insecure.

There are times when I have run a long run during this training cycle and have been so tired and have thought to myself "you are never going to be able to run 50k at altitude in the mountains. You are not a good enough runner. You are getting old and slow. How stupid can you be?”

These two scenarios play themselves out in my life over and over. As a Christian. As a husband. As a dad. As an employee.

I’ve got this. Everyone around should be so lucky to even be in my presence. I don’t need anybody but me.

I wonder if I am smart enough. Man enough. Strong enough. Wise enough …I don’t think I can ever do this on my own.

I need balance. The balance that comes from seeing myself as I really am and not as either a super hero or a nobody.

Mount Taylor 50k is on Saturday. I hope to have fun running in the mountains of New Mexico. And if I finish then great but there is a chance I don’t and that’s okay too. It really is …

 Because of the grace allotted to me, I can respectfully tell you not to think of yourselves as being more important than you are; devote your minds to sound judgment since God has assigned to each of us a measure of faith. Romans 13:3

Stop this Train

I ran this morning and listened to music and thought. That’s what I do when I run. I think.

John Mayer’s song “Stop this Train” came on and I listened … and thought. He sings about how the world isn’t always the most ideal place, especially as you get older and watch the generation ahead of you get older. And I thought. And I agree.

The world is not an easy place and the longer you live the higher the chance that you will experience something that is hard. It is hard to watch your parents grow older or even to lose them. It is hard to know and experience that you are not always the awesome husband or father or friend or employee that you thought you were. It’s hard to watch people around you suffer. It is easy to look around and read the news and listen to people talk and know that the world is a messed up place. All of it makes me want to sing “Stop this train. I want to get off and go home again. I can’t take the speed its moving in. I know I can’t. So honestly won’t someone stop this train.”

And then the song takes a turn:

Once in a while when it’s good

It’ll feel like it should

And they’re all still around

And you’re still safe and sound.

There is the hope. The world is messed up. Heck I am messed up. But at the worst there are still glimpses of how it is supposed to be. How it is getting fixed even though I can’t always see it. At my most broken is where redemption has the most potential. It can be fixed and made new.

I know that redemption won’t be fully realized until the other side of time. But somehow I know it can get better here too. And that is my hope. To be redeemed. To be made new. To be a part of that process and not just hope it happens without my participation.

“If anyone is in Christ they are a new creation, old things are passing away and all things are being made new…”

In other news I am training to run Mount Taylor 50k. It is a race in the mountains outside of Grants, New Mexico. The entire race is above 9000 feet and tops out at 11,305 feet at the summit of Mount Taylor with 7000 feet of elevation gain.

I haven’t run anything longer than a half marathon since my last marathon in Singapore in June of 2013.

What am I doing to train for altitude? Nothing really, just running miles at sea level.

What am I doing to train for running up and down mountains? Nothing really, just running miles in pancake flat south Texas.

It may sound cliché – but really, my only goal is to finish. And I am looking forward to the race very much.

When Running Might be Unhealthy and a Memorial to a Great Place to Run

My plan for a long time has been that on my last morning in Singapore I would run the trails around MacRitchie Reservior. It is without a doubt mine and Jakeb’s favorite run in Singapore and I’ve written about it quite a bit here already.

The problem though is that for the last couple of days Singapore has had a haze problem. “Haze” is really too benign of a word for what we are experiencing. Farmers in Sumatra Indonesia have been burning fields to prepare for planting palm trees for the palm oil business and the smoke from those fires are washing over Singapore. The government is issuing health warnings and saying to wear a mask and stay indoors. Walking around outside is like walking in the smoke of a campfire. It is horrible.

So should I run or not? That was not even a question for me really. I had to run MacRitchie on my last day here. I had the trails mostly to myself like when it rains. I saw seven people and only two were runners. I think my oxygen uptake and my carcinogen uptake were probably equal. But I see it as a gift. I got to run MacRitchie almost alone. It was a good morning … and kind of coughy.

At the end of the run I sat at the trailhead and took off my running shoes. I unlaced the string from a couple of holes and tied them together at the ends. I stood knee deep in MacRitchie and slung them up in a tree as high as I could. There is a pair of Brooks Pure Flows with a little more than 300 miles on them hanging from a tree over the lake as a memorial from the running Stunzes.  

Goodbye Singapore.

Sundown Marathon is done – It’s time to go to Texas!

Jakeb and I spent all day Saturday trying to figure out how to act. How do you prepare for a Marathon that starts at 11:30pm? We’ve always run morning marathons. When do you eat and what? How much do you sleep and at what time?

I ate ceral for breakfast, pasta from Dan Ryan’s for lunch and beef hor fun for dinner at a little before 7pm. I slept for about two hours from 2 – 4 pm; otherwise the day was pretty normal.

Andrea saw us off at about 9:30pm and graciously volunteered to pick us up when at the finished if we couldn’t find a taxi. As we walked out of the condo to catch a taxi to the race my friend Procosh pulled up beside us in his car and asked if we would like a ride to the marathon. I said “sure.” He works downtown and planned to park at his office and walk to the starting line so we went along for the ride.

We checked in our bag told Procosh “good luck” and waited around for the start. When the start chutes opened we lined up near the four hour pace group and were only a few yards from the starting line. The fastest pace group at the race was four hours. This is not going to be a fast crowd. I am normally in the very center of the starting chutes at a marathon with as many people in front of me as are behind. But not at a Singapore marathon where much of the crowd is planning to go much slower.

Beforehand Jakeb and I decided not to try to stick together. He wanted to hang with the four hour pace group as long he could. I knew I didn’t have a change at anything near a four hour marathon especially since we had trashed our legs two weeks earlier climbing Mount Kinabalu.

The gun went off and I told Jakeb “later” and off we went. I started at what felt like an easy pace but I checked my watch at the first mile and was running a 9:10 pace which would be a four hour marathon. So I slowed down and tried to stay in a comfortable zone. And pretty much that is how the whole race went. I ran almost the entire way with the exception of the last 4 kilometers where I mixed in some walking but mostly running.

Jakeb finished in 4:20:39 and I finished in 4:41:52. It was Jakeb’s slowest marathon and my second slowest. Singapore is a tough place to run a marathon especially if you want a fast time. Jakeb finished in 360th place out of 6389 finishers (top 5%). I finished in 709th (top 11%).

In my opinion the Sundown Marathon is better than Standard Charter. This marathon is more of a runner’s race than Standard Charter. The start finish area has more for the runner. And the course is better with well planned water stations some with bananas and gels. Much of the course is the same as Standard Charter but the night time views are cool especially when you run across the bay from downtown and the flyer. And the best part is the course doesn’t go over that bridge at the finish in the searing Singapore heat. Obviously the weather is milder at night.

We were spent when it was over. There were taxis everywhere on the streets near the finish so Andrea got to stay in bed. I hit the pillow at 5:30 am and didn’t get up until 11:30 am.

That was the last big thing on my personal Singapore list. Anna needs to finish 8th grade. There are still places we need to go eat. Jakeb is on the schedule for another tattoo while Andrea has hers touched up. We need to say some “see you laters” to some people. But for the most part it is time to go home. Andrea, Anna and I have been looking forward to June 22nd for what seems like a very long time. Texas here we come!

Sundown Marathon – most unorthodox training cycle ever and why I CAN

The Sundown Marathon starts Saturday night at 11:30 pm. Today I started carbo loading. It’s weird because Andrea and I have lessened our starchy carb intake recently so eating rice noodles for breakfast and rice for lunch has me feeling heavy. Our change in eating (which you can read about here ->link) makes me feel much better but I know I need the fuel for the marathon and really don’t know any other way to get it other than eat potatoes and rice. I plan to skip the bread and pasta though.

My training for this marathon has included a 30k race called The Maze. The weeks following The Maze I mostly took off from running while we worked on our house in Texas. Then I came back to Singapore and ran an 18 mile, a 20 mile and a 19 mile long run followed by a back off week of 12 and then I climbed a mountain with Jakeb. For the last two weeks I have been recovering from the climb and have done very little running. Jakeb and I ran MacRitchie on Saturday for eight miles. I had no fuel in my body and the run was horrible. Three days from now Jakeb and I will run a marathon for which I don’t have high expectations as far as my finishing time goes.

As I read that last paragraph I am struck by the reason I CAN run marathons (and climb mountains). One reason is because God has given me a healthy body and I work hard not to take that fact for granted. But another major reason is that I have a wife in Andrea who supports this craziness. Andrea from the beginning almost exactly 20 years ago has not just endured my running but has encouraged it. We go to bed early so I can get up before work and run. She hangs out without me for hours on Saturday morning so I can run long runs. Just now we changed our plans to eat Peaking Duck because I need a more starch heavy meal the night before the marathon. And she agreed. And we both really like Peking Duck. I love Andrea for a bunch of reasons and one of them is that she is a big part of nurturing my love of adventure and the everyday journey that running is. She has even run and walked races of her own. And I believe as a result we’ve passed on that love of adventure to our son.



Climbing Mount Kinabalu in a Day and Happy Birthday to Me

I woke up on May 19th 2013 in Malaysia (Borneo) to a card from Andrea for my birthday. To paraphrase she encouraged me to “get closer to the one who created you, to get closer to the one you helped create, and get closer to yourself”. Andrea always encourages me to be a better me, sometimes on purpose and sometimes without trying. I am lucky to have her as my wife. How many other women would encourage their husband to take his son and climb the highest peak in Southeast Asia on his birthday? 

Jakeb and I woke up, ate a breakfast of bread pastries and was downstairs waiting for our ride to Kinabalu Park Headquarters at 5:30 am. 

Mount Kinabalu is the tallest peak in Southeast Asia at 4095.2 meters or 13425 feet. It is normally climbed over the course of two days with a one night stay at the Laban Rata Resthouse at 3272 meters. For my 46th birthday I wanted to hike to the summit and back down with Jakeb in one day.

I had made arrangements with Amazing Borneo Tours to do the one day hard core Low’s Peak Summit hike. The main reason I booked a tour is because when I researched climbing Mount Kinablu in one day I found that only four permits are issued a day and if you try to get one on your own you have to be at the park headquarters the day prior to your climb and there is no guarantee that you will even get a permit. But pay extra and book early through a tour company and of course your chances are almost 100% to get a one day climbing permit.

We arrived at the park at 7:15 am and the guy from Amazing Borneo got our climbing permits and introduced us to our guide Safree. Safree has run the Kinabalu International Climbathon from the trailhead to the summit and back in 2 hours and 44 minutes. He would be more than capable to take us to the summit and back down in a day no problem. Now it was just up to Jakeb and me to make it to the top. The permits we signed made it clear that to continue to the peak we would have to make it to the Laban Rata resthouse by 10:30 am and to Low’s Peak by 1:00 pm. And if the weather deteriorated we would be turned back.

The skies were clear as we started out from Timpohon Gate at 7:55 am. We were supposed to start by 7:30 but the tour bus had to pick up another couple which made us a bit late and me a lot nervous. Being late put me on edge but I also felt like God was saying, “I’m in control of this Tommy. You can’t change the timing. All you can do is hike. Stop worrying about it.”

We set off on a brisk pace with Safree up front, Jakeb in the middle and me behind. The uphill hike is mostly made of steps that are either carved in the hill or made from various sized rocks. There is never a consistent rhythm to the steps one takes because the steps in the mountain vary in size so much. As we continued on it slowly became clear to me that we were moving at a pace that was faster than I could maintain so we backed off a little. 

Jakeb and I were both taking S-caps to maintain our salt and electrolyte levels and we were eating almonds and trail mix. We each had three liters of water in a camelbak and a one liter nalgene bottle. I was sweating like crazy but I always do.

The lower parts of the trail had the same sort of foliage we walked through in New Zealand. As we got close to Laban Rata we met people who were on their way down. One of the locals told us we would not have a problem making it to the top because we had the mountain runner as our guide. Just below Laban Rata I started feeling the beginnings of cramps in my quads from all of the pulling up the taller steps.

We arrived at Laban Rata at 10:18 and Safree told us to rest for 10 minutes and then we would continue the climb. Jakeb and I drank a cup of hot tea and ate some trail mix and then continued on. On the steps above Labal Rata my quads cramped for the first time. I had to sit down and elongate the quad muscles to stretch them. Afterwards they felt better and we continued to climb. Jakeb’s muscles bother him a little too but not nearly as bad as mine. Right as we hiked above tree level the clouds got thick and we would get the occasional sprinkle of rain. I was worried we would get turned back but Safree kept charging ahead.

Then climbing up one section where we had to use ropes my quads cramped again. I stretched and started moving but I only made about 10 steps and they cramped again. I told Jakeb “I’m done. I am going to sit here while you and Safree go to the summit and then meet me back here.” He asked “Are you sure.” And I said “yeah” and I assumed my day was done.

If I would have stopped there I would have been disappointed but I would have been okay with it. I had done my best and that’s all I can ask of myself.

I lay down on the side of the mountain with my heals pulled against my butt to stretch my quads. I was there about 5 minutes and it started raining. I stood up to get my rain gear on and thought to myself “My legs feel okay”. So I started to hike uphill slowly. And I felt good. I decided to walk until I came upon Jakeb and Safree coming down from the summit and see how far my legs would take me. 

As I climbed a little further I came out of the clouds and in the clear there was an amphitheater of peaks around me and I was struck, like I always am when I take time to look, at the wonder of God’s creation. I looked at Low’s Peak and I could see Jakeb and Safree starting the climb up the ridge line. Above them were four other climbers. So much for the fact that the park only issues four one-day permits; this day they issued five.

I continued to walk steadily upwards and before long I found myself at the base of the ridgeline that leads to the summit. Some of it requires you to use your hands and feet to climb up. I heard Jakeb yell, “Come on dad!”

Jakeb made it to the summit of Mount Kinabalu at 12:30 and I arrived at 12:42. As soon as I got there he said “Happy Birthday Dad.” We stayed on the summit for a few minutes. A guy from New Zealand took our picture as it started to rain. We got our rain gear out and headed down.

The walk back down was wet and slippery and we had to use the ropes quite a bit. We stopped at Laban Rata and got a bowl of cream of chicken soup each (sans chicken) two Carlsbergs for me and a coke for Jakeb. I paid more for that meal than any we ate on the whole trip.

We walked hard and got back to the trailhead at a little before 5 pm for a total of 9 hours of hiking.

It was a good day. I got closer to Jakeb, I learned more about myself, and I got closer to God. It was one of the better birthday presents I have ever been given. Thanks babe.

Running in Texas, Running in Singapore

For my two weeks home in Texas the weather was cool. It was in the 40 or 50 degree fahrenheit range every morning. On the mornings I ran at home I ran on the sidewalks around our subdivision so it was all flat. I wore my garmin every run because I don’t have any idea of the distances yet and I would consistently see paces in the 8:15 to 9:00 minute per mile range while running comfortably.

So I got back to Singapore and last Monday morning I laced up my Brooks and took off toward Telock Blangah hill. I ran like I was still in Texas. As I pushed up the tree top walk I felt good and strong. But I paid for it. By the time I crossed Henderson my legs and body said “that is enough” and the last three miles were brutal. Now I am back to running at paces more like 9:00 to 9:45 range. It is amazing what heat humidity and hills do to one’s ability to maintain a pace that is completely manageable in cooler weather.

I look forward to running in cooler Texas weather for a short time every year. I will not miss the Singapore humidity but I will miss running in the rain. It is somehow different running in the rain here than in Texas.

I do not look forward to the monotony of flat Texas sidewalks in a subdivision. I will miss the treetop run, Kent Ridge and MacRitchie Reservoir. I hated the hills when I got here but I have made peace with them now.

I’ve known people who have trained for marathons in the US tell me they could never train for one here in Singapore. But Singapore and its heat humidity and hills have made me a better runner. I trained in Singapore for the 2011 Texas Marathon and set a marathon PR.

I have a friend named Procosh. He is from India and he runs. I had no idea. I saw him at our condo a couple of times with his kids. I’ve seen him outside smoking a cigarette. And then I was running at MacRitchie one Saturday morning on a training run and there was Procosh with a camelback on his back running the North Face 100k. A guy who smokes running a 100k! We hadn’t really talked before then but on that day we said hi and now we have great conversations about running while standing in the condo driveway. I will miss the diversity of people in Singapore – like my friend from India who runs and smokes although he says he is going to stop someday soon (smoking that is).

Two weeks in Texas

My flight from Doha landed early in Houston Saturday afternoon and I was on the road to Austin by 7 pm and in Austin by 10. My prerun dinner was a chicken sandwich and fries from Burger King on the road between Houston and Austin with a couple of Newcastles when I got to the hotel for good measure.

Jakeb and I woke up at 5 am and got ready to run. It was really windy and cold (about 45 degrees) when we picked up our race chips. The race started at 7 am and we were completely unprepared for it to be dark. It was a good thing other people around us had headlamps. We were running behind a girl that asked if we wanted to pass her. I said “No we appreciate the light.” She replied “Oh I see, you’re using me for my light. When you win make sure you mention my name.” I said “No chance of that happening. Me winning I mean”.

Jakeb and I ran the whole race together. Our pace was right on and we ran comfortably the whole time. I tripped on the second lap and scrapped up my knee and right hand. Then on the last lap I tripped twice. My left pinky was bleeding pretty bad but we were almost done. My race number has spots of blood on it. I thought that was cool.

We ran the whole race except through the aid stations (2 on each loop) and the last hill. We finished in 3:19:56. The Maze is a great race.

Afterwards I spent most of the rest of the time in Texas working on the house. Andrea and Anna got there on Thursday night and Tori, Austin and Jakeb came on Friday. We were all together for Easter weekend and it was good to have everyone under one roof.

We primed, floated, textured, and painted. We hired a contractor to remove almost 800 square feet of ceramic tile (what a mess). I built a new gate for our cedar fence. We ate good food. Some we cooked and some we ate out. We celebrated Jakeb’s birthday. I got to spend some time with my dad.

It was hard to leave Texas to come back to Singapore. But it helps knowing we have tickets to move home in June.

For this is your calling - to do good ...

I got a new tattoo and I like it a lot. This makes tattoo number three and it is on my forearm so it is exposed most of the time. The reactions I’ve gotten from it have been interesting. Most of them have been positive.

In a week and a half I fly to Houston, land on Saturday night, drive to Austin and then after a short night of jet lagged rest I run a 30k trail race. Training has gone really well so I am hoping for an awesome race at The Maze.

I am still doing speed work at the track one day a week and it has been a bit of a soap opera. Over a month ago I was running in the inside lane like normal and an old guy was weaving in and out of lane one and two as he walked. I timed his weave and said “on your left” and I freaked him out. I didn’t mean to but it scared him and he jumped on to the grass beside the track which was to his left and we almost collided.

The next week I went to the track and was running hard around a turn and the same old man, walking again in the inside lane, started motioning wildly for me to pass on the right and not the left. I was not in the mood to be accommodating so I passed on the left and brushed by him sliming him with my sweat.

He was obviously not amused. When I finished up I walked backwards on the track to meet him and try to explain why I was doing what I was doing. I told him it was normal for those going fastest to use the inside lanes and those slower to move progressively to the outside lanes. That is track etiquette. Those are normally the rules.

I thought this would make sense to them because Singaporeans supposedly are famous about following the rules. What I forgot is that rules are only to be followed when they are convenient or when there is severe punishment attached to breaking them. Anyway an older lady came up to help the man I had offended and she said “He is very old and it is much too far for him to walk on the outside lane.”

I thought "he may be very old but he is in very good shape because his walk is brisk. And I am only asking for half a lane not the outside"

I said, “Well he is here for the exercise right? Just don’t walk as many laps if it is too far. And second, are you telling me if you are old you don’t have to follow the rules?”

They said, “We have been coming here for a long time and you just started coming.”

I said, “And … that means you don’t have to follow the rules?” I told them “Nevermind” in my most sincere singlish and said “I like it here. I’ll be back next Wednesday.”

The next week I made sure I swung wide around the walkers using the inside lane and didn’t get too close to offend. I also told every person “Good morning!” in a loud happy voice. I was not trying to be insincere but hoped to smooth it over a little. The man that was mad at me looked at me out of the corner of his eye, pressed his lips tightly together and gave me one stern head shake then stared off in the distance. I guess he did not want me to be nice.

This morning the old man and his wife showed up at the track after I had already started running. They sat on the stands and watched for a while and left before I was done. I guess they decided it is not worth exercising when the big white guy is on the track. I wish they would exercise when I am there but I am not going to stop going so they can - at least not until June when we move back to Texas.

Never pay back a bad turn with a bad turn or an insult with another insult, but on the contrary pay back with good. For this is your calling—to do good and one day to inherit all the goodness of God. 1 Peter 3:9

I am obviously not always so good at this …

Adapting, self-discipline and a better me

Jez Bragg recently completed a run the full length of the Te Araroa trail. The trail starts at the tip of the North Island of New Zealand and finishes at the tip of the South Island. It is 3054 kilometers (1898 miles) and he completed it in 53 days – the fastest ever – completely under human power either running or kayaking. I watched a video where he talked about being amazed at his body’s ability to adapt to the long distances he ran day after day.

I haven’t run 1898 miles in 53 days. I fell 500 miles short of that all of last year. But I am still amazed at my body’s ability to adapt to increased mileage. In the last couple of weeks my long runs have gone from 8 miles to 12 miles to 14 miles in just three weeks. I’ve added speed work at the same time. Last week I thought I was probably overdoing it because my hamstrings, especially my right one was hurting. It was bad enough that on Wednesday what I did at the track could better have been categorized as “faster than a jog” work.

But this weekend I ran 14 miles again and I felt strong throughout the whole run. Then I ran 5 Sunday and felt like normal – almost like I hadn’t run a long run the day before.

It’s not just a physical thing. It is mental as well. I knew in my head that when I stepped out this morning that my legs would be dead and because of it I didn’t want to go. But I went anyway. I ran over Telock Blangah hill and my legs were surprisingly fresh. I am glad my brain didn't keep me from running. Some mornings it would have.

I think about Lent starting this week. The body has to adapt to the Lenten fast. It can be physical, and mental. But adapting to the physical change and the mental shifts that have to occur are part of what changes me for the better spiritually. Making my mind and body do something that is not easy or comfortable make me a better me.

In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves... self-discipline with all of them came first. Harry S. Truman

Self-respect is the root of discipline: the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.
Abraham Joshua Heschel

I was worried about building up to The Maze, but I think I will be just fine. I have to pay attention and not take advantage of my body’s adapting to high mileage by overdoing a good thing. If I can keep pushing myself out of the door in a sensible self-disciplined way I’ll be okay.

Same with Lent, I have to pay attention to everyday discipline and when Easter gets here I will be a better me.

MacRitchie and the track

This weekend I ran around MacRitchie and added the out and back to rifle range road in the middle for a total of eight miles. It was raining – sometimes a little, sometimes pouring down. I saw maybe 15 or 20 people 95% of which were westerners. I’ve asked this question here before but I don’t know what it is about Asians not wanting to get wet. When you run around MacRitchie on a clear sunny day you get as wet with your own sweat as you do when it is raining. And a rainy run is much more pleasant. I should not question it because it was good to have the woods and trails mostly to myself. Running around MacRitchie is one of the things I will miss about Singapore.

I ran at the track this morning again. That makes two weeks in a row. I ran a mini ladder, 200-400-800-400-200 with 200 recovery in between. Once again it was good to run hard. I glanced down at the Garmin and saw times in the 7 minute and change pace per mile. It has been a long time since I have run under 8 minute pace. The last 200 was rough because my legs were tired but I kept telling myself “strong and in control”. The inside lane had a few walkers like last week. It is okay, I can go around.

The Maze ... who needs sleep?

Jakeb sent me an email and said “Hey, if I can get some people interested would you help me out getting to Austin to do this?”

He added a link to the Rogue Running Trail Series of which the first race is The Maze. The Maze is one of my favorite (if not my all time favorite) trail runs. It takes place in Walnut Creek Park and the course is three 10k loops through the hills north of Austin with a couple of stream crossings per loop. The race has a distinctly Texas feel to it which is something I could use right now.

The trip always includes food from Chuy’s. I was jealous that Jakeb would get to run it and I wouldn’t. I considered replying and saying “Heck no I won’t help you get to Austin (meaning pay). You can find your own way!”

But I am a nicer dad than that so I didn’t. Then I looked at the web site and realized the race is on March 24th. I will be in Texas on March 24th so I shot back an email and said “I'll be in town on March 24th. Maybe I can meet you there and run it too.”

The euphoria was short lived when I figured out that I would not get into Houston until 5:40 pm on the 23rd. After flying for over a day, I would have to clear customs and get a rent car, drive between three and four hours to Austin to meet Jakeb where he would have checked us into a hotel and picked up our packets. Then get a short night’s sleep assuming I could sleep through the jet lag and then get up and run 18 miles.

That’s crazy! So I considered not doing it. I asked my voice of reason (Andrea) what she thought. Her reply was “will you regret not doing it?” Of course I would. So that night after Jakeb checked his school schedule I signed us both up for The Maze.

Am I crazy for doing it? Dang right. But Jakeb pointed out that he was coming to Singapore when school is out in May and hiking to the top of the highest peak in Southeast Asia a couple days after he arrives. I guess it runs in the family.

Speed and Nutrition

We live a little less than a mile from a track. I’ve driven by there but have never actually been on foot. This morning for the first time in Singapore I decided to do some speed work.

I ran easy to the track and once I got there ran 4x400 with 200 recovery. It felt good to move fast and work on controlling form. It was much slower than when I used to do speed work in Texas and it wasn’t very much as far as volume was concerned but I did it. And I think I will do it again. I would like to run the Sundown Marathon closer to four hours than five and I think this will help.

There were old Asian people walking on the track and a few “middle-agers” like me. I was the only one running. As is typical here there were a few people who walked as if they owned the place. Some weaving in and out of the inside lane while they walked. So I followed American track etiquette and elbowed the old ladies out of the inside lane as I was running past. Okay I didn’t but I felt like it. I made sure I ran on the inside of them fast and close …

Andrea and I have made some tweaks to our nutritional routine without making a big deal of it. We have pretty much cut out starchy carbs, sugar and dairy and are focusing on eating lots of vegetables, fruit and a moderate amount of lean meat. Both of us have lost weight without really trying too hard. I was scared I would not be fueled well for running. At first it seemed that way but I think it was because I was recovering from getting sick in London – and in some ways I am still recovering. But I feel like I have enough fuel to run  typical morning runs without any problems. I haven’t run any long runs while eating this way and those may require me to add some starchy fuel the night before – we will see.

We started eating this way hard core on January 8th - we dabbled with it for a couple of months before. So about the second week of February I will go to the doctor and get a physical (it is time). I am really interested in what my cholesterol numbers will be.

End of 2012, London and the Beginning of 2013

The Stunz Family finished the year in London. Andrea, Anna and I flew from Singapore and met Jakeb, Tori and Tori’s boyfriend (now fiancé) Austin who flew in from Texas. We did a bunch of the touristy things, watched an amazing fireworks display, saw a premier league soccer match (Chelsea va Queens Park Rangers) and Tori and Austin got engaged.

In the middle of it all I got to do some running. The first morning we were there Jakeb and I ran from our rented house in Chelsea to Hyde Park and turned around in front of Albert Memorial. It was good to run with Jakeb and as usual he push the pace for me.

The next time I ran was on New Year’s Day. We had stayed out late for the fireworks so I slept in and ran around noon. It was still cool (in the forties) and I ran King’s Park road to Westminster Abbey. It was a four mile run and when I arrived there was a New Year’s Day parade and the Stephen F Austin marching band had just finished and were stowing their gear. “Hello fellow Texans!” I got on the London Underground at Westminster and made my way back to Parsons Green.

The last time I ran was early on Wednesday morning. My plan was to run an easy three. I ended up getting lost on the way back and had to ask for directions. My easy three turned into a tiring six. But that is okay. Being lost running is not so bad of a thing.

London was a good trip.

In 2012 I ran 1388 miles. I ran in the US, Singapore, Italy, Vietnam, New Zealand, Cambodia and the UK. I ran a marathon in Christchurch New Zealand while Andrea did the 10k and I ran a marathon in Singapore (an hour slower than the first).

In 2013 I plan to hike up Mount Kinabalu with Jakeb and then run the Sundown Marathon in Singapore. After that it will be back to Texas and who knows what running will be like.

The list of countries I’ve run in will probably never be as long as last year but if I only ever get to run in Texas that will not be a bad thing.

What's next?

With the Singapore Marathon thankfully in the rearview mirror it’s time to look ahead to what is next to keep me motivated to get out and run.

Our time in Singapore is coming to an end and Andrea, Anna and I are excited about moving back home to Texas. We have been thinking about what it is we want to do before we leave Southeast Asia.

I told Andrea a while back I wanted to hike to the top of Mount Kinabalu – the highest peak in the region – on my birthday. She said, “Go for it.” My plan was to hike alone because it is hard to stay on pace with another person. But then I started thinking about the times Jakeb and I have trekked and it just so happens he will be out of school then. I called and asked him if he was interested and didn’t have to convince him at all.

On May 9th-14th Jakeb has finals at Texas Tech. On May 15th he gets on a plane to Singapore. He gets to Singapore on May 17th at 12:20am. Then on May 18th he and I board a plane to Kinabalu in Borneo Malaysia. At 7:00am on May 19th (my 46th birthday) we will attempt to hike to the summit of Mount Kinabalu and back down in one day. Most tours require two days to climb to the summit. There are only four permits issued a day to do it in one. Then we fly back to Singapore on May 20th.

Jakeb will be worn out just from all of the travel. I will be worn out because I am getting old.

As if that were not enough we found out that the Sundown Marathon is on June 1st in Singapore. It starts like at 11:30 pm at night and you run to beat the sun - which is good because it is cooler. Jakeb pleaded with me to sign us up. So I did. Maybe I am foolish to think we can do both. I have been told already that I am. But what would we be if we didn't try - you have to try ...

I have plenty to train for. My goal is to train to go up. Then add enough miles to finish a marathon.

Afterwards it’s home to Texas! I can’t wait.